Monday, June 20, 2011


In honor of ICLW week, a second episode.  This story is a favorite of mine, for reasons that will soon become clear.

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JK was to have her week 28 ultrasound and check with Dr. O.  She is a partner in Dr. B's practice and performs many of Dr. B's procedures when a stand-in is needed.  Dr. B wanted us to be acquainted with some of the other doctors in the practice.

So in we went to see Dr. O.  JK peed in the cup as she always does when she arrives at the OBGyn.  Dr. O informed us that something was potentially amiss with the urinalysis.

Pre-eclampsia is a medical condition in which hypertension arises in pregnancy (pregnancy-induced hypertension) in association with significant amounts of protein in the urine.

The only cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery of the baby(ies).

When tests show high levels of protein in the urine, the doctor will order a closer look.  We were not on high alert, because JK did not show any of the other symptoms; like swelling of the hands, face, and eyes.  Nonetheless, we took this quite seriously.

When you learn what the test is, all attempts at solemnity will go for naught.

Dr. O gave us a plastic basin and a red three liter jug that looked a heckuva lot like the milk bottles you see at Costco.  JK's orders: use the basin to catch your pee (the basin fit around the toilet seat) and save it in the milk jug.  Save all of the pee for 24 hours.

JK drinks a fair bit of water each day, and during the pregnancy was trying to drink more.  As the day passed, we began to wonder if the jug would be enough.

It was.  But JK used every bit of those three liters.

The next morning, a Saturday, I was to pick up my father and brother for golf.  My dad's place is near Dr. B's office, so naturally I could drop off the pee jug.

My niece dubbed my brother Uncle Crusty.  I can only guess why.

So there sat Uncle Crusty in the back seat, next to the cooler wherein sat the pee.  I informed both he and my dad that there would be a slight detour.  As I neared Dr. B's office, Uncle Crusty asked what was in the cooler.




Uncle Crusty has a nasty wit and is too clever for any of us, so I realized I'd been given a rare chance for payback.  Thank you pee jug!

"Or more to the point, 3 liters of pee that your sister-in-law collected over the course of 24 hours."

Silence for a moment, and then, "Oh Alec.  Come on."

Uncle Crusty is a good uncle, but hates - hates! - pee, poop, spit, and puke.  To this day he has never changed a diaper.  I don't suppose he ever will.

Hearing the gross-out in his voice was as satisfying as lemonade on a summer's day.

As I grabbed said pee jug to run up to Dr. B's office, he and my dad were rooting for me to trip and spill out the contents.  Fortunately haste did not, in this case, make waste.  The pee jug made it safely.

Did you wonder if I would forget the results?  I nearly did!

A day later, we learned that the pre-eclampsia scare was nothing more than that.  The elevation of protein levels was an anomaly.  JK did not have pre-eclampsia and to our relief, we would not have to risk delivering the twins so dangerously early.


  1. Hey there! I'm pretty new follower to your blog and look forward to reading some of your posts! This one was pretty funny :) I'm sure that day will never be forgotten by uncle Crusty :)

    My story: my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia and we are in the process of doing an IUI through donor sperm. We are so excited and are keeping our fingers crossed and praying hard for a positive outcome. hopefully in about a week I can go in and do the procedure!! The lil swimmers are patiently waiting at the dr's office :)

    Ok.. Well just wanted to introduce myself as I am also doing the ICLW week!

  2. Glad your wife does not have pre-eclampsia! The expression on Uncle Crusty's face must have been priceless.

    ICLW #36

  3. I bet that was a really funny moment with your brother. I love those medical things that freak others out but cause laughter for you.

  4. Ha, not the best thing to find for a guy who hates pee!

    ICLW #7

  5. That is an awesome story! Ha ha ha!

    So good to find your blog. We are dealing with severe mfi along with my IF issues as well. I'll be sure to share your blog with my hubby!

    {visiting from ICLW #53}

  6. Happy ICLW from #52 (I think)
    thank you for sharing the story of your wife's pregnancy. I am glad her protein was negative!!! #PHEW!
    Looking forward to following!

  7. Pre-eclampsia is scary! I'm glad JK didn't have it, and i'm glad you were able to get some joy out of that ridiculous situation.


  8. Love reading your take on the journey and love the humour in your posts. Thanks for writing it!
    (Here from ICLW)

  9. LoL loved this post. For a minute there I was waiting to read that he though you were kidding and then he took a swig of it :P Yea, I'm odd xD

  10. HI FROM iCLW!
    I'm glad she doesn't have it, but laughed my butt off at the tale of 'uncle crusty'

  11. I'm so happy that JK did not have pre-ecplampsia but love that you took the opportunity for a little payback for Uncle Crusty. :)

    Visiting from ICLW

  12. Hi from ICLW!
    I am very glad Pre-e was just a scare! Poetic justice it seems for Uncle Krusty!

  13. Thanks for making me laugh! I'm glad I found your blog, it's nice to read a man's perspective.

    ICLW #128

  14. Makes you wonder what sorts of things are in other folk's back seats! Now I'm gonna have visions of pee jugs...happy to hear all is well. Best wishes!

    Cheese Curds and Kimchi

  15. Its so refreshing to hear a man's point of view on this monster called infertility. (funny story ha ha ha) I look forward to following your journey through parenthood. The fun begins now


  16. I will be honest...I spit my Coke all over my computer screen while attempting to laugh/drink while reading your story. A lot can be said for using humor to handle serious situations and topics. Looking forward to following your journey--and glad the test was negative!
    ICLW 33

  17. Hello! I know you don't know me, but we've got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen's blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We're holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!

  18. So funny. Thank God all's well. I know what those scares are like as I had the preterm labor due to diabetes scare too soon to deliver safely with both of my ivf pregnancies.
    As one of the few daddy bloggers you might appreciate a contest my RE is holding in honor of father's day this month, in which the grand prize is a free micro-ivf cycle. its free, fast and easy to enter and it's basically finishing the following statement: "The most shocking thing someone said to me on Father's/Mother's Day was..." its designed to vent about all the insensitive comments idiots make to the infertile. so if you know anyone who could use this, send them over to ICLW #118 to enter before this sunday (or again in Aug). Best of luck with the rest of your journey. PS I vote Uncle Krusty as the godfather!

  19. Visiting from ICLW...I was so glad to see a blog from a man's perspective. It is so rare to find! Glad your wife didn't have pre-clampsia and all was well!

  20. Hi from ICLW! I'll definitely be sharing your blog with my husband :) Congratulations to you and your wife!

  21. VIsiting from ICLW!

    Ugh, Pre-E is such a devastating condition. Very glad your wife didn't have it, and good job not spilling the contents from her collection. Congrats on the pregnancy.

  22. Very funny story. I would have paid good money to see the look on Uncle Crusty's face. So glad your wife's pre-eclampsia scare was only a scare.

    ICLW #10

  23. Glad that worked out. It's nice to read a blog from a man's perspective. Infertility support services (like yoga classes) tend to be targeted at women, and the assumption is always that the women who attend are themselves trying to get pregnant (rather than being the partner of someone who is). Your blog is a good reminder that infertility impacts lots of different types of people.

  24. Oh man! I can just imagine telling someone they're sitting next to a cooler full of pee Hahaha!

    Glad that the results came back ok, and those little ones can cook a bit longer!


    Life in the White House

  25. haha! I can just imagine the look on his face! I love seeing your blog, as the male perspective is not easy to find in the IF world.

    Glad your twins arrived safely! here via ICLW